Does anyone actually read this thing? Gotta say I wonder...

It's evening on Wednesday. I decided to take it easy in Delhi instead of going to Varanasi. I just don't have it in me to negotiate a 12-hour train ride each way & pay for another hotel room just to see dead people cremated. (A little too close for comfort right now.) The stomach's a little queasy. And I realized this is time I'd much rather spend with my friends, doing whatever we can to make MN's life a little easier during a really tough time.

JW & I had a great time visiting with many of AJ's family members in Rohini last night. We took the Metro out (changing lines two times). The system is immaculate. Even cleaner & nicer than DC's Metro! Once I got used to the constant staring -- even from people in the next car over on either side -- it was kind of neat to see all these Delhi neighborhoods from above.

The neighborhood streets are very narrow here, even more so than Habana Vieja. Cars on either side, tucked in so impossibly tightly that you can't imagine how one could parallel park into the spots. Most folks have tiny little cars. A Civic (my car) is big here. But I digress.

Many of AJ's relatives live in one complex maybe 1 km from the Rohini East Metro stop. We made three stops to visit them: first to her mom's brother's family, then her dad's nephew's place, then to her mom's sister's family. Incredible amounts of food at each one. JW & I were stuffed far past the point of comfort...but it was wonderful to feel so welcomed into their homes. AJ's young cousin, 10 years old, won all our hearts. He wants to be a botanist who studies plants, but not flowers -- because flowers are for girls. (His parents want him to be a lawyer.) He likes action movies, but NOT romances. He's like a little Yoda who comes out with these pithy nuggets of brilliance. An old soul...

A few hours later, we rolled ourselves -- now including AJ & her suitcase -- back into the Metro & through the stares & back to Connaught Place (central Delhi). MN's younger brother Ali picked us up & drove us to our new home. We're staying at MN's friend's family's flat now in an area known as GK. I forget what that stands for, but it's in South Delhi. We stayed up until 2:30 a.m. laughing & talking. The three of us are tucked into one big long bed for the moment. Once CH joins us on the 15th, it will be even more cozy!

Woke up late today -- 10:30? Took my first bucket shower in many years, one blessedly warm thanks to this funky metal rod that heats up the bucket of water. MN stopped by to scoop us up to her assignment, interviewing American tourists at the Baha'i Temple that's shaped like a lotus flower. We left her to do her man-on-the-street assignment & sat in the temple for a while. Peaceful. Enforced quiet, aside from the occasional baby. (MN says she used to come here when she was in college, just because it's so hard to find a place in Delhi that's really, truly quiet.) It was a little odd to find at least 2 people were taking photos & video of us. Can't say I've had that happen before with people who aren't relatives or friends. Must be our stunning beauty.

MN found her Americans. We people-watched, then wove through crazy traffic back to GK. MN & JW went to visit MN's mom. AJ went to sleep. I wandered back to this oh-so-dangerous store called FabIndia. My first time wandering alone in more than a week. How strange.

I came back & opened up one of the books I brought. It was Morgan's, "The Secret Life of Bees." On the first page were two little sticky notes she'd written to remind herself of a wedding vendor & a book she wanted to read. It paralyzed me for a moment. Little things she thought she'd have all the time in the world to take care of, now stuck in the front of a book that has a plastic tab, obviously from work, shouting "SIGN HERE" and marking the last page she read. Made me cry. All these little triggers make that sadness well right back up, even though we're now approaching 8 months since her death. JW saying how our crew of friends has so many brothers among us. (Don't I still have a sister, even if she's not alive anymore? How DO I answer that horrible question "how many siblings do you have?") MN's friend wearing a t-shirt that says "Sisters are Forever." When will these things stop being like an electric shock? I don't want to think of Morgan with a sadness so intense it closes my throat & makes me cry. That horrible, horrible weight is so hard to bear. I mean, I don't feel that sadness all the time. But it comes at the strangest moments.

AJ's waiting for me at the restaurant. Tomorrow morning I'm going to MN's workplace to try & upload photos again. Cross your fingers...

S.